Sea of Drunken Tears
by Mister Cellophane
Summary: Remus is suffering after his best friend dies at the wand of his cousin Bellatrix. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the last link to the Marauders, Harry, would talk to him. But Remus decides a route of action, Fire Whiskey…and something else.


One Shot Fan Fiction:

**NOTE: This was co-written by me and my sister. It was originally posted on HER profile (Aretari Lirinen) as I let her have it. However, now that she has stopped writing fanfics (apparently) and i'm starting, she gave it to me to put on here. Enjoy.**

Summary: Remus is suffering after his best friend dies at the wand of his cousin Bellatrix. It wouldn't have been so bad if the last link to the Marauders, Harry, would talk to him. But Remus decides a route of action, Fire Whiskey…and something else.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in here, if I did, I'd be rich and writing actual Harry Potter books, instead of Fanfiction's.

**Sea of Drunken Tears.**

Remus Lupin sat down in one of the hard underground kitchen chairs of 12 Grimmauld Place. It had been two months after Sirius Black, Remus's only friend and companion was lost. When I say lost, I mean lost. Everyone assumes that he's dead, and the fact is, he probably is.

But being dead or not, he's lost. He fell through the veil but not to the other side, well, at least not the other side of the veil. Remus wished it was him who fell through the veil. Sirius had so much to live for; Harry, The Order, and official Pardon that everyone knew would come. What did Remus have to live for?

Nothing in his eyes. He was just an old useless wolf. No one really liked him other then Dumbledore, Sirius and Harry. Now he didn't have Sirius, and he was the last Marauder. He didn't even have Harry. After Sirius died Harry didn't want to be near Remus, he reminded him to much of Sirius…and his parents.

He groaned aloud and headed into the pantry, only to come back in and sit down with two full bottles of Oden's Fire Whiskey. He unscrewed one top and drank half the bottle in one go. He knew he couldn't drown his sorrows, but maybe he might numb his brain…and heart.

After the first bottle was empty, he looked down the nozzle and snorted at it. He grabbed it's neck and hurled it across the room to smash into the fireplace with a satisfying CRASH.

'Not nearly satisfying enough'. He thought with a drunken grin. He picked up the next closest thing he could find. A chair. He threw it against the cabinet that held the dishes and cutlery. It all came down in an avalanche of broken glass, china, and wood with sounds that could be taken as mini explosions.

"Now that's more like it!" He burst out laughing and unscrewed the second bottle.

"Seconds anyone?" He chortled as he looked around at the empty chairs. "Hmm…Guess not. Shoulda known though. It's not like anyone would ever want to share a little drink with poor old Remus Lupin." He raised it up in mock-toast. "Cheers, nobody."

He took one long swig, which resulted in coughing and Whiskey trailing down his chin. He growled and slammed the bottle on the table, a little too hard. The bottom smashed into shards and the alcohol went flying and oozing everywhere.

"Fuck." He clumsily dipped a finger into the pool before him. "Shit! Ow.." He accidentally shoved his finger into a shard of glass, but he didn't bother to get it out, just let it dig in deeper and bleed as he relished the pain. He enjoyed it. It was a good feeling to him, after experiencing so much emotional pain it was a pleasant change to feel physical pain instead.

As he stared at the broken glass, chair, Whiskey and blood dripping along his hand he felt his eyes glaze over. Within a matter of seconds his head was in his hands, blood smeared on his cheek, crying. He had thought he was all cried out, after doing so much of it he figured his tear ducts must have expired. But here he was, for the millionth time, balling his head off. He didn't want to, and it didn't feel normal. He was supposed to be good, smart, responsible Lupin, Always there when you need him and always stops the frays before they become serious. Good ol' Lupin. But 'good ol' Lupin' died with his friends, his faith, and heart.

He had nothing left. James was gone, Sirius was gone and as far as Lupin is concerned, Wormtail was never there. Not really. He was the last. No more Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Only Moony, the lonely drunken Werewolf who was left behind to his bitterness and tragedy. He was shabby, poor, jobless, friendless, and 'funless' .

A small smile crept onto his face as he reminisced about all the times he had when he was a teenager, young and carefree (if you don't include the always inevitable transformations once a month) and happy. That left him the moment James and Lily died. That's when reality sunk in.

This was a War. Voldemort was winning and his sanity was losing. His chest filled with the pressure of it all. The demands of the Order, his remaining friends, the War. Life, in general, was a pain for him.

Which is why he made up is mind.

Remus got up, tipping over his chair as he did so. He trudged soberly up the stairs and into Sirius's bedroom. He pulled out a piece of parchment and Sirius's favourite quill as he sat down at the desk.

Dear Nobody, because nobody will care,

I, Remus Juddiah Lupin, have lost control. All my friends are dead, as well as my hopes and dreams. I have no one left who truly appreciates me, mostly because of my condition. If you don't already know what that is, then you are lost to the world. I am a werewolf. A beast. An apparently vile dangerous creature. I live in fear day in day out, of the moon, of the wizarding world, and the people I care for.

I am dead. My heart decays as well as my soul. I do not eat, or drink, or sleep. I can find solace in none of that. It has come to my attention, as you will soon know is true, that there is really only one thing that will bring me solace, and by the time anyone reads this it will already be done.

I have nothing to leave, so there is nothing to give. May God find rest in your souls.

Thank you, Albus Dumbledore, for being the only one who cares.

And Harry Potter, I have but one thing to say to you; Remember me.

I am the last of the Marauders, the last one in the line. After I'm gone, that will be the end, but only on Earth. May we coincide forever.

Farewell,

Remus Juddiah Lupin, Moony.

Mischief Managed.

He folded the parchment and clutched it in the palm of his hand, the edges sticking out the sides. His eyes flicked over the desk until they came to rest on a gold plated picture frame. Inside there was a picture of four eighteen year-old boys on Hogwarts graduation day. The two in the middle both had jet black hair, but the hair on the boy to the right side was messy beyond control. His hazel eyes flashed behind his silver rimmed glasses and he grinned mischievously as he held up a diploma in one hand and a snitch in the other. The boy to the left was very handsome and he was smiling broadly holding up his wand which was through the center hole of a rolled up diploma. James and Sirius.

The boy beside James was short and stubby. He had yellow scraggly hair and buck teeth with an upturned nose. He was eyeing the diploma slightly worriedly in his hand. The boy beside Sirius was smiling handsomely, his light blonde/brown hair falling choppily into his eyes, which were a gray that seemed to hold a haunted look. He was a bit to thin but all in all he looked good, and very ecstatic smiling uncontrollably at the diploma and then up at his friends. Peter and Remus. Picture Remus waved to him and he smiled slightly. 'If only things could be like that again.' He thought.

He pulled the picture out of the frame and tossed it aside. He turned it to the back, reading James's untidy scrawl.

Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail. Hogwarts Graduation.

He smiled a tad bit more and clutched it in the same hand that held the note. He walked over and stood up straight on Sirius's bed. He withdrew his wand and held it up to face him. He positioned the picture so that he could see himself and best mates smiling jovially.

"I'll see you guys soon. Save me a seat at Merlin's Café." He whispered.

And with a flash of deadly green light, he was gone.

Finis.

A/N: (sigh) Yeah, I know, it was sad and tragic. I sort of cried while writing. Not really, but kinda anyways. Poor Lupin. May god rest his soul. I, personally, like how I put 'Mischief Managed' as his final words in the note. I think it works good (and if you don't know what 'the deadly green light' was, it was Avada Kedavra). I'd like your opinion, and there is only one way to give that! Review!


End file.
